Tell us what you're avoiding
Pick an errand, tap your Stock, hit order. Forty seconds, tops. That's shorter than the Bürgeramt hold music.
7 Flitzer free in Kreuzberg right now
Someone's at your door in 10 minutes. Yes, even the 5th floor.
Flitzbär sends a bear-hatted errand runner to carry, fetch, fix, queue and, if we must, put your shoes on. You stay on the sofa. We've seen your stairs. We are not scared.
- 10 min or your next errand's free
- Hinterhof? Welcome.
- Pfand is always yours
a Monstera named Dieterone (1) Billy40 kg of Pfanda sofa through a Hinterhofa very dignified lampoat milk ×3a bike up four floorsemotional-support lettuceyour landlord's guilt
How it works
Three steps. The third one is us knocking.
A Flitzer is dispatched
A bear-hatted human within ~800 m accepts. You get a name, a rating, and a live map. They are already moving. They are always already moving.
Knock knock. Done.
We carry it, fetch it, tie it or queue for it. You tip if your heart says so. Your sofa never even noticed you left.
What they'll do
Anything that fits inside one Bürgeramt waiting room's worth of patience.
Treppenschlepp
Fourth floor, Hinterhaus, no lift, one sofa. Our Flitzer call this "cardio with a purpose".
from €4.90Schuh-Service
Yes, we'll put your shoes on. Yes, even the boots with 14 eyelets. Yes, we saw the sock. We're professionals.
from €3.90Späti-Run
Milk, oat milk, the other oat milk, a Club-Mate, and whatever you hallucinate at 23:40. Shelf price, zero markup.
from €5.90Kleinkram
Hang the picture. Assemble the Billy. Change the bulb you've been "about to change" since March.
€12.00 / 15 minPfand-Runde
We return your bottles. You keep every single cent. We looked at the money. It was tempting. We didn't.
from €3.50Schlange stehen
We hold your spot at the Bürgeramt. We can't make your Termin come sooner. Nobody can. We tried.
€8.90 / 30 minMock order flow
Go on, order one. Nobody will actually come. Sadly.
Demo only: nothing is sent, charged or stored. Every runner is fictional. The maths, however, is exactly what we'd charge.
Price examples
Prices you can read without a lawyer.
Base + €1.20 per Stock of stairs (no lift) + the €0.99 Kiez-Gebühr. Hinterhof +€1.50, Dalli-Modus +€2.90. Tips optional, always 100% theirs. Hit a button to load that exact order.
Shoes on, door shut
One pair, ground floor.
- Schuh-Service€3.90
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€4.89
Billy to the 4th floor
Two boxes, no lift. Your back says thanks.
- Treppenschlepp€4.90
- 4 Stock × €1.20€4.80
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€10.69
Midnight Späti-Run
One shop, 3rd floor. Groceries extra, at shelf price.
- Späti-Run€5.90
- 3 Stock × €1.20€3.60
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€10.49
The picture, finally
Two 15-minute blocks, ground floor.
- 2 × Kleinkram block€24.00
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€24.99
Two crates of regret
Bottles back, cents yours.
- Pfand-Runde€3.50
- 1 extra crate€1.00
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€5.49
Bürgeramt, ticket 0815
One hour of holding your spot.
- 2 × Schlange block€17.80
- Kiez-Gebühr€0.99
Total€18.79
Stammkunde · €9.90 / month. No Kiez-Gebühr, priority Flitzer, one free shoe-on per week. Pays for itself after 10 orders. We did the maths. Twice. In a Späti.
Today in Berlin
The numbers. They are (fictional but) very confident.
18,342stairs climbed today
8:41average arrival, min:sec
412shoes put on
97% of Hinterhöfe survived
“He carried my 38 kg Monstera up four floors and apologised to it twice.”Anna, 3. OG Neukölln
“Shoes on in six minutes. My toddler clapped. My back also clapped.”Jens, Prenzlauer Berg
“Punctual. Friendly. Fed our cat. We don't have a cat.”Frau K., Wedding
Fictional customers. Real feelings.
FAQ
Questions we've been asked (mostly about shoes).
Is it really 10 minutes?
Inside the Ring, yes, give or take a U8 hiccup. Outside the Ring we try harder and bring snacks. Miss the 10 minutes and your next errand is on us.
You'll actually put my shoes on?
Yes. Sneakers, boots with 14 eyelets, that one clog. We use a calm voice and a shoehorn. Judgement is limited to one small, private eyebrow.
What about Sundays?
Sundays are for Ruhe, and also for running out of oat milk. We deliver anyway. Our Flitzer wear quiet shoes and give your neighbours a respectful nod.
My building has no lift.
Perfect, that's our favourite kind: €1.20 per Stock. If there's a lift we'll use it and feel a little sad. Hinterhaus? €1.50 for the cobbles.
Do you take cash?
Cards, Apple Pay and good vibes. Pfand is always yours. We checked the rules and then checked ourselves.
Is this real?
Delightfully not. Flitzbär is a fictional service with real-feeling stairs. Nobody is charged and nobody arrives, but the order flow above does the maths exactly like we would.
Your stairs aren't going to climb themselves.
Order a Flitzer →Want to be a Flitzer? Bring knees. €16/h + tips. (Also fictional. Our knees are not.)